How We Handle Failure Determines Our Success

“The thrill of victory . . . and the agony of defeat . . . the human drama of athletic competition . . . this is ABC’s Wide World of Sports!” -- Jim McKay, sportscaster

For those of us who choose to put ourselves on the competitive line, we know all too well the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat in athletic competition. But, in reality, we don’t need to compete in athletics to experience the human drama of failure and success. Life provides us with these opportunities on a daily basis.   

The question becomes: How do we handle failure when we’re in the midst of a challenge? Some of us become the failure by innocently identifying ourselves with the outcome. For example, Betsy is playing golf in the three-day club championship. She has high hopes for this tournament as she has been playing well. However, this week she doesn’t have her A-game. As a matter of fact, the words “train wreck” come into her mind to describe her performance. 

“Being with” how we feel versus “being how we feel.”

Betsy is faced with recognizing the distinction between “I am a train wreck" and "I’m playing like a train wreck.” The distinction is between “being with” how we feel (frustrated) versus “being how we feel” (train wreck). 

In reality, Betsy is not a train wreck. She's an excellent golfer in a temporary slump. However, she may unconsciously or innocently think she is the disaster on the golf course. This, then, becomes her identity and will affect how she competes in the future.

In any athletic, career or personal situation where we have not reached our intended goal, the ability to separate ourselves from becoming the emotion allows us to realize that we are more than that emotion. We are a whole person who is feeling frustrated. We are not the frustration. 

This simple but powerful move allows us to maintain our sense of self and self-worth even in trying times. How we handle failure really does determine our success.